Okay, what da heck is goin on here? This guy could only score more points than Supreme Court last year and now his teams got the most in the league? Might have to agree with RJ here, let's pump the breaks a bit eh? ANOTHER week gettin CARRIED by JSN and Chris Olave. And Tre Tucker goin off?? Think that's gonna happen every week? Sure it may have worked out for ya this week, but how long will it be before some of these injuries start catchin up to ya? Surely the trio of Mark Andrews, Woody Marks and Juwan Johnson can't be weekly starters. Joke. Ya got lucky with the mildness of the Caleb injury, but that QB room is lookin shaky at the moment now. They'll have a chance to go 3-0 against Hail Gary this week.

They did it! They took down the undefeated Supreme Court, moving to a 2-0 record on the young season. Jokes aside, there had to have been some scare after Courts guys got their very first win last week. It was however a pretty one sided affair, with RSC registering 171.96 points in the win, holding onto that #2 spot in the division behind Redzone. Similar to Redzone, the Company had an explosive performance from Amon Ra St. Brown (35.20 PTS) and was the only player other than Brandon Aubrey (20.90 PTS) to put up more than 20. Either way, this team has gotten off on the right foot and will be trying to stay on said foot as they take on the Plucky Penguins in week 3.

Supreme Court didn't have the juice in em to get their second ever win, but their new found penchant for scoring above 100 points this year seems like a nice step. Another bright spot on this team, how bout BRYCE YOUNG as the QB2 on the year? Denzel Boston (21.90 PTS) had another good game this week and looks to be settling in as a good part of this team's future. The other youngin's didn't do much this week, nor did newest member of the Court in Courtland Sutton, but ya still gotta have some excitement for guys like Jeremiyah Love and Kenyon Sadiq. Heck, even that Malik Willis fella has been kinda fun to watch. The next Court date has been scheduled for week 3 versus the Golden Bills.

Man, what a rollercoaster week it was for the Golden Bills. I remember it was Thursday night n they had half their team playin, but those cats still put up like a bajillion points! Josh Allen (42.22 PTS), Jared Goff (29.78 PTS), James Cook (20.90 PTS) and Dalton Kincaid (22.50 PTS) all played their hineys off I tell ya! Unfortunately in the end it just wasn't enough, and they fell short to the Calves. The aforementioned Kincaid has been a surprisingly bright spot for these Golden guys so far, averagin aboiut 20 points per game. What dis guy wants to see more of is that Rome Odunze fella, who's only puttin up 7 points a game AND who they got for sendin away Jonny T. They got a meeting with Supreme Court up next this week. 

Alright, that RJ guy was a tough cookie huh? Well, even though Tony Rosso is a BIG, SCARY, TOUGH man, I got my soft side too okay? I'll take it a little easier, ya lost to the defending Champ Redzone, I mean that's gotta be better than losin to Gary, right? Maybe the direction this team heads in is uncertain, but that doesn't mean there ain't nice pieces in place. The QB duo of Lamar Jackson and Brock Purdy is pretty solid, and ya gotta think Drake London could start looking more like the WR1 those Penguins expect him to be playin like. Plus, once they get Jordan Tyson to make his Plucky Penguins debut he could certainly be a guy to provide a spark for the team. 0-2 aint pretty, but it certainly aint the end either. They look to get back on track with the Rickety Stool Co. in week 3. 

Barely squeaked that one out bud!! Congrats… I guess. Nice to see Swift is back to his Lions fumbling days with just a putrid disgusting redzone fumble, COSTLY JOKE if you ask me. Javonte Williams looks like he’s running around with shackles on his damn ankles man, those past injuries catching up possibly?? Maybe you should train calves with him because he looked real slow and fat out there this week. Oh that’s right, congrats on trading for a young big tight end in Colston Loveland!! Too bad he fucking sucks, NOT involved whatsoever… Joe Burrow with his back blown out still looks NOT 100% bud. Sure, you are 2-0 but I don’t have a cookie or a new workout routine for you and you still have work to do. Let’s see if Loveland can do ANYTHING in a matchup vs 4th and Medium upcoming, doubtttttttt it!  

Hail Gary, Larry Dairy, Fail Mary, JAIL GARY it doesn’t matter! Got some news for ya kid, Week 2 Orangeville is NOT the same as those Week 1 Ducks. So many STINKERS where do I start?? Trevor did his best Western New York impression with a banger score of 7.16!!! My god Gary your team sucks, ALL those flex spots were STINNNNNNKKKKKYYYYYYY. BTJ running around like a fool out there, ya got Limited Ladd wearing a bulletproof vest and starting freaking Wan’dale is actually hilarious. What a BURDEN it must have been starting somebody in that monsoon in Chicago, check the weather fool. The Chiefs can’t save you forever, and neither can I. The cops are actually on the way to you buddy, I am not even joking. Jim called them. JAIL GARY looks ahead to a matchup against the reigning champs this week, if he can even make bail. Yikes. 

Married or not, I guess the sunshine lollipop luck NEVER stops in Tuckahoe. I mean really, an injury to Jaxson Dart early on in the MNF game and then Malik Nabers coming in and out of the game to be stuck with finger sucking Jameis Winston. Must be nice to be a lucky son of a bitch who gets to work FOUR days a week, cool man. Nonetheless, it’s impossible to ignore your own nasty quarterback play. Justin Herbert straight up sucks ass and once Baker got paid he stopped giving a shit. Both have weapons galore but it doesn’t matter when your GM goes week to week without a care in the world. RB2 Tyler Allgeier?!?! LA LA LA who cares! You can’t rely on starting 3 Tight End’s to produce every week bozo, you really shouldn’t have won this week. Guess it’s newly married luck or some shit, whatever. Can the Turtles keep it moving in the right direction in a matchup with Orangeville, or will they turn the WRONG way? 

Think you can trade away the KEY to the Ducks Colston Loveland without any punishment?! Think again bucco, newly acquired Saquon Barkley HURT early on and then returned to do a whole lotta nothing. Travis ACHANE got out snapped by a 30 year old hobbled Kamara, what a joke I mean how do you not see that coming? Similarly, JCM got out played by freaking Rachaad White. I mean fuck dude, FIVE running backs in the starting lineup and they only muster a total of 129 yards on 50 combined carries… what a buncha losers. Looks like your coach has some serious work to do on these guys, and on himself as he looks like he’s threw on some extra weight! That made RJ chuckle, along with all Cam Ward haters worldwide. Guy had to run in two touchdowns just to save his fantasy day, can’t throw one in orrr? Puka is back next week by the way so don’t get all worked up about Davanteee going stoopid. These Ducks look to keep momentum going as they face off against the Sunshine Tuckahoe Turtles in the first game of a back to back matchup.  

Where’s the world’s smallest violin when I need it?! Nope, not doing that. No sympathy from I, what a disaster start to the season for 4th and Medium. I thought this team was a contender, not a giant pile of bubblegum. Sure you had 2 points scored total between those Giants, but that’s far from the only blemish on this team. Drake “The Schedule” Maye looks like Trent Edwards out there thus far, hot stinky garbage. Leaving Stafford on the bench is highly interesting, along with the fact you threw Jamo in that lineup AGAIN. Now, he’s gone from the team in the first trade from what I’m sure will be a banger garage basement sale. Shit I’ll prolly pull up just to laugh and point, I heard Decks is flying in for it too. Old Man Mike looking uninterested in a blow out game against the Dolphins, you would think he would give more of a shit for you at least. Fuckin Blake Corum and Mailk Washington would have been better starts, joke material right there. Can 4 SALE get their first W of the year in an important division matchup vs the Calves this week? Honestly I don’t think so, see you all at the grand sale.