#1 - Redzone
(8-5)  |  [--]
CLINCHED

Okay uhh okay don't panic, don't cry! So what if the win streak is over? Who cares if you only put up 126.04 with the playoffs right around the corner? You're clinched! I'm just kiddin there GM Red, but the facts are the facts. Redzone lost vs 4th and Medium and missed out on clinching the big division win in week 13. Perhaps the funniest and most on brand thing to happen to the Zone this week was Zay Flowers and Michael Pittman combining for a whopping 2.90 fantasy points. Hopefully ya weren't missin MHJ too bad before, cause I bet that one STINGS at least a lil bit. Also, what did you do to JSN? Did I jinx him last week? To be fair, I did say he was your best player a majority of weeks, so still technically correct there! Just regroup for week 14 bud, cause a win gets ya that sweet, sweet Round 1 bye, and while there are other ways to get there why not choose your own fate?

#2 - Golden Bills
(7-6)  |  [+1]
CLINCHED

Welcome to the clinch club, Golden Bills! A big bounce back win, AND it being against the Lobsters A N D with RSC losing has ya not only locked into a playoff spot, but with a chance to swipe that division lead right out from under Redzone's stinky shoes. Hats off to the Golden Bills here, gotta give credit where it's due after all, cause they got funky with their lineup this week and it certainly paid off. I'm talkin of course about Thanksgivin day where they started Dontayvion Wicks and freakin Keaton Mitchell who combined for a cool 42.74 points. Them along with Jared Goff and David Montgomery got these cats off to a lead the Lobsters weren't able to come back from in the end. Ending a guy's season with Dontayvion Wicks? Call that Dontayvion Blicks am I right? Let's see if these guys got more tricks up the sleeve when they take on Hail Gary in the regular season finale, eyes set on the division win.

#3 - Rickety Stool Co.
(6-7)  |  [-1]

Guys. Holy crap, guys. His record is the funny thing. I love football, man. Aside from providing us a nod to the funny brainrot meme, their loss to the Turtles week 13 put these dawgs behind the Golden Bills in the standings, as well as a little too far behind to claim the Garage Division back as their own. Had they got the win they'd have a shot like the GBs do to take that first round bye, but alas, the cookie has not crumbled in such a way. They shouuuuld be okay in terms of making the playoffs, as even if they lose, the Lobsters would need to outscore RSC by 133.96 and win their week 14 matchup. The RSC of new is still experiencing some of them inconsistencies in the scoring department lately, this time around with Max Brosmer hitting up Jettas with a freakin 2.40 points, and Amon-Ra leaving Thanksgiving Day early with injury and leavin behind a gooser. They got a recoup week with Supreme Court up next.

#4 - Sloppiest Lobsters
(5-8)  |  [--]

All the crustaceans roaming the floor of Mariana's Trench hang their heads and antennae low in solidarity with their fallen comrade. This one is unfortunate, no doubt about it, as they only were outscored by 11 ish points, and had a few scores from guys ya figure can score way more. Like yer tellin me between Lamar and Saquon they couldn't muster up that point difference? Now, let me be clear, the Lobsters are not technically eliminated yet. If they outscore RSC by 133.96 AND win AND RSC loses, then the Lobsters are not only in, but in perhaps the most unhinged way imaginable. Personally, I'm here for it, but it ain't gonna be easy that's for sure. For what was such an injury filled season for these fellas, they pinched and clawed to the best of their ability, and a fully healthy squad next year could show us a completely different Lobsters team. The sloppy finale comes vs 4th and Medium week 14.

#5 - Supreme Court
(0-13)  |  [--]
ELIMINATED

HELL YEAH, LOOK AT THAT DRAFT ORDER SECTION BABYYYYYY! This is what we've been waiting for!! Supreme Court is guaranteed not only the top pick because well, you know, but the 4th pick as well due to owning both Hail Gary's and 4th and Medium's first rounder, and whoever misses the playoffs between them two would be the 4th overall pick. Keepin up? Now, if we look at the starting roster....you know what? I'm just gonna assume you knew Max Brosmer was gonna be hot booty and that's why ya didn't pick him up. ACTUALLY ya would've scored less points starting Brosmer over the injured JJ, but like, at least he was actually playin you feel me? Sean Tucker with another bagel. You know the deal. We're getting closer and closer to the draft buddy, hang tight. Try lockin in for that Drought Bowl though man, ya don't wanna get tomatoed or play a kids video game for 20+ hours straight on Twitch do ya?

#1 - Tuckahoe Turtles
(10-3)  |  [--]
CLINCHED

Another week leading high score for the first place Turtles who have achieved that feat for the fourth consecutive week now. You read that right. If there was any question who the championship favorite is for this year, I think its been answered. The Turtles are one win away from their first division title of the dynasty era, as well as likely being en route GM Seanny's first scoring title. Its no done deal, though, as the Basement gauntlet has resulted in a 1v1 for the Basement title and 1st Round BYE in Week 14 against the Calves. It won't be easy, as both teams deal with a final week of NFL BYEs as well as some key injuries. The Turtles are riding dirty for the rest of the season with no locked in QB3 and both of Justin Herbert and Baker Mayfield dealing with injuries that could take them out in a moments notice. I'm not rooting for it, but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't make me smile to see Trey Lance start a GFL playoff game.

#2 - Coxsackie Calves
(10-3)  |  [--]
CLINCHED

I think its safe to say the tear down rebuild worked. Eat your hearts out Tim Murray, Jason Botterill, Kevyn Adams, and whatever sack of shit takes that job next. After taking their lumps in GFL7, our LOSSMAN hasn't been subjected to much torment this season as they've turned the corner and even lapped some of the field. It's truly been a storybook season for the Calves, who seemed to make all the right moves this summer, lost captain Joe Burrow to an injury in Week 2, weathered nearly every storm that came their way and put themselves in a position to repeat what 4TH did going from 1.01 to Basement Division Champ. But it won't be easy. The Tuckahoe Turtles have been literally unbeatable for the past month with a consistent juggernaut lineup dating back to last year. No matter what happens, GM Gabe and the Coxsackie faithful should be damn proud of this team for what might be the quietest 10 win season in GFL history. 

#3 - 4th and Medium
(7-6)  |  [--]

The numbers, Medium, what do they mean? We can pull all the stats we want, like their league leading Max PF, second place Points For, or second place Points Against. Or how about their total man games lost to injury? Those are all just voices in the back of their head at this point as they hold their destiny in their own hands, just like their logo depicts. One last win against the Lobsters in Week 14 likely punches their ticket to the playoffs as long as Hail Gary doesn't go nuclear. It wasn't the season they or anyone else expected for them, but maybe getting knocked down a peg or two will be good for GM Medium. After all, their last (and only) career playoff win came in Round 1, so its probably for the best they're missing out on the 1st Round BYE for the first time in 3 years. It all comes down to this. Imagine both the preseason favorites in each division miss the playoffs...

#4 - Hail Gary
(7-6)  |  [--]

Hail Gary has flown a bit under the radar this year, garnering probably the least attention of any Basement team in GFL8 despite being 3rd in the GFL in Points For. They've hung around the playoff race all season and in Week 14 have a chance to win and get in with a little help. Its commendable, and I think has surprised many around the league especially after the big offseason 3-way trade that saw foundational pieces Ceedee Lamb and Breece Hall leave town in exchange for CMC, Wan'dale Robinson and a haul of picks. Who would've thunk that of those 4 players, Gary would get the two highest scorers so far? That's the GFL for ya, expect the unexpected. CMC has had a prime CMC #1 overall player type season after seeming potentially cooked last year with double Achilles tendonitis. Only Gary, am I right? Unfortunately for him, though, CMC (and Wan'dale) will have to sit this must win game out with a BYE. Ironic.

#5 - Orangeville Ducks
(5-8)  |  [--]
ELIMINATED

Its only right that the Ducks season came down to a do or die grudge match against long time division rival Hail Gary. Unfortunately for GM DK and Coach Crumbs, their playoff hopes have officially been dashed for the second straight season. The writing had been on the wall after a slow start, and while they've overcome similar conditions before, the Basement was just too brutal this year. In typical Ducks fashion, they made a variety of moves this season that have set themselves up nicely for an interesting offseason with plenty of picks over the next two drafts on top of their existing talent. But lets not get too ahead of ourselves, the Ducks still have a few meaningful games left in GFL8 and I know they're not ones to give up. They'll have a chance to play spoiler in Week 14, as a win over Redzone would potentially knock them out of the top Garage spot and cost them a 1st Round BYE. After that, its to the Drought Bracket to make sure they don't have to suffer punishment. I wouldn't worry too much about that, though.