GFL Dynasty - Week 13 Write-Up

It's the holiday season

Welcome to December gentlemen. It's the most wonderful tiiiiime of the yeaaarrrr for your boy, Calvin Von Strangle. All of these standings I get to implicate brings me some serious warmth in these colder times. We got some more clarity on the GFL end of things this week but more questions than answers as far as the NFL goes. Let's get to it.
We had our first week since week 5 with no teams on bye week and it led to some serious football. Thursday definitely siphoned a lot of the really good matchups but there was still some bangers on Sunday. We're not going to even discuss what happened on Monday. Except I will touch on the fake rumor that Abdul Carter was caught watching porn full volume in The Giants facility because I wish it were true. Green Bay looks like they have moved through their brief rough patch and are looking like serious NFC contenders. Detroit continues to falter a bit and lost Amon-Ra St. Brown early Thanksgiving afternoon so they are riding the struggle bus currently. Dallas is making a push as well taking down The Chiefs who might genuinely miss the playoffs. The AFC is a bloodbath this year and they're already at 6 losses. They're going to need some serious help to make it to yet another Super Bowl this season. Can't get through a Thanksgiving day write up without talking about the absolute demon that is Dak Prescott on Thanksgiving, so shout out to him. The final Thanksgiving game was the return of the dark knight, Joe Burrow. Cincinnati takes down Baltimore, Lamar continues to struggle, and with the Steelers loss on Sunday that AFC North is both pathetic, and wide the hell open for the taking. The NFC as a whole is also wide open right now because The Panthers knocked off The Rams who were the 1 seed leaving it to who? THE CHICAGO BEARS??? WHAT??? IN THIS ECONOMY??
We saw another team clinch a playoff spot, this time out in The Garage. Congratulations to The Golden Bills working through the Champ's Curse and making it to the postseason for a shot to go back to back. That leaves 2 spots open, one in each division, for the taking. It is most likely to be GM Ryan and the Stool Co. (barring an insane week from The Lobsters AND Supreme Court) taking that 3rd Garage spot but down in The Basement things are not as clear. Both 4th and Medium and Hail Gary won last week to bring it down to the wire, and leaves the fate of their season's down to one final matchup. 4th and Medium will take on The Sloppiest Lobsters and Hail Gary will take on The Golden Bills with a trip to the playoffs on the line. 4th has a nearly 100 point advantage in points for, so they have their fate in their own hands for the most part. The other big matchup we have this week is GM Seanny and GM Gabe duking it out for that 1st place spot and the bye week in The Basement. We know how random things are in football, so that bye is huge and I am interested to see who ends up getting it. Best of luck to all parties this week, except for GM Gary, I've got my eye on you pal.
As the great Marv Levy once said "Where else would you rather be... than right here, right now?" and when he said that quote I'm 67% sure he was talking about the GFL. I'm sorry we haven't had a 6-7 joke all season I had to throw one in there for the pop culture. Damn kids and their terrible jokes. I digress. Final week of the GFL regular season, it's time to make it or break it fellas.

golden bills (149.20) DEF. sloppiest lobsters (138.18)

"The oppression of the Goldstein's will never return. You have lost."
"No... no... no! You will die!"
Jedi Master Sloppo was prepared to end this once and for all, but the Chosen One himself, Josh Allen, said "No, he must stand trial." Despite having control of the Bills and the Court(s) and being too dangerous to be kept alive, GM Vinny was able to hit Sloppo with an unexpected burst of lightning in the form Dontayvion Wicks and Keaton Mitchell sending the Lobsters to Coruscant's floor along with their playoff hopes. The Evil Empire prevails again and deals a potentially fatal blow to the CHAMPS CURSE, becoming the first reigning CHAMP in the Dynasty Era to make the playoffs. They could really put any talk of rebellion to rest with a win and some help in Week 14 to take the Garage Division title and clinch a 1st Round BYE.

"Execute Order 66."
It was as if the Lobsters' own men got the call from Supreme Chancellor Palpatine Goldstein to turn the tide of the war. Since being acquired in a blockbuster deal midseason, Lamar Jackson has finished as a QB1 only one time, with three straight finishes with less than 9 PTS that played a big part in where they stand now. Other traitors included Saquon Barkley who's 5.6 PTS were the cherry on top of a season long let down. Its not quite over, but it would take the equivalent of a top 4 Biggest Blowout in GFL history along with some help to get in.

Somehow, Goldstein returned...
Not really, but it was as if his ghost was present guiding GM Vinny to this picture perfect lineup that sealed their playoff fate and put the CHAMPS CURSE into question. No one circles the wagons...

Q1
You got your revenge on Redzone and in the process kept your playoff destiny in your own hands heading in a critical Week 14. Simply put, how are you feeling going into this week?
A1
"I don't take any of this lightly. It's been a season of peaks and valleys for us, I'm proud of our team and our front office for battling through adversity all year and I have to have confidence in the guys in the room to get this done."
Q2
Your potential paths to the playoffs involve more than just your matchup against the Lobsters. How closely will you be following the HAIL vs GOLD game this week?
A2
"Let's just say I'm more than happy to be able to root for our Bills a little extra hard this week. All love to the CHAMP."
Q3
This is it, who's gotta step up to make sure the Basement preseason favorite doesn't miss out on the postseason fun?
A3
"Everyone's gotta do their part. There have been plenty of lapses and inconsistencies from key players this season and they all need to lock in for us to beat this Lobster team that never backs down. If I'm pointing the finger anywhere in particular it's at Matt Stafford and Jacoby Brissett in the QB room this week. The kids are both on BYE so it's up to the savvy vets to come off the bench and lead the young core to the promised land."

clinching scenarios

I made a mistake on last weeks list of scenarios, I will try to be better.

Garage Division:

Redzone has clinched a playoff spot.

Redzone can clinch the Garage Division title with a WIN vs ORNG OR a GOLD loss vs HAIL.

Golden Rings have clinched a playoff spot.

Golden Rings can clinch the Garage Division title with a WIN vs HAIL AND a REDZ loss vs ORNG unless REDZ outscores GOLD by more than 27.3 PTS

Rickety Stool Co. can clinch a playoff spot with a WIN vs CORT OR a SLOP loss vs 4TH.

Sloppiest Lobsters can clinch a playoff spot with a WIN vs 4TH AND a RSC loss vs CORT AND they must outscore RSC by 133.96.

Basement Division:

The WINNER of TUCK vs CALF will clinch the Basement Division title.

4th and Medium can clinch a playoff spot with a WIN vs SLOP AND a HAIL loss vs GOLD
4th and Medium can clinch a playoff spot with a WIN vs SLOP AND a HAIL win vs GOLD unless HAIL outscores 4TH by 94.68
4th and Medium can clinch with a LOSS vs SLOP AND a HAIL loss vs GOLD unless HAIL outscores 4TH by 94.68

Hail Gary can clinch a playoff spot with a WIN vs GOLD AND a 4TH loss vs SLOP
Hail Gary can clinch a playoff spot with a WIN vs GOLD AND a 4TH win vs SLOP if HAIL outscores 4TH by 94.68
Hail Gary can clinch with a LOSS vs GOLD AND a 4TH loss vs SLOP if HAIL outscores 4TH by 94.68

Orangeville Ducks have been eliminated from playoff contention.

DRAFT ORDER

As meaningful games wind down for some teams, its time to start looking forward to our GFL Rookie Draft this Spring. Here's how the draft order is shaking out:

1. Supreme Court

2. Orangeville Ducks OR Sloppiest Lobsters*

3. Sloppiest Lobsters* OR Orangeville Ducks

4. Supreme Court (via HAIL OR 4TH)

*Assuming Sloppiest Lobsters do not overcome their seemingly insurmountable odds

primetime - WEEK 14

Tuckahoe Turtles (10-3) @ Coxsackie Calves (10-3)

[CALF 6-4 vs TUCK All Time]

[H2H Tied 4-4 in Dynasty]
[CALF def. TUCK in Week 5]

Is there a better way to close out the regular season than having the two top teams in the league go at it head to head? I mean seriously, this one's givin off Godzilla vs King Kong vibes. Both teams sitting at 10-3, both teams in the Basement Division, meaning the winner of this one takes all. With the Turtles having won their last 5 and the Calves their last 4, someone has to budge, and someone will walk away with that glorious first round bye.

The GFL's top dawg for what feels like forever at this point, the Tuckahoe Turtles boast the leagues longest active win streak as they head into Coxsackie in our regular season finale. After a heartbreaker in the GFL 7 Championship, the Turts kept most of the roster in tact that got them to the big show. Even with the minimal trades, only 5 since March 8th to be exact, one stands out to this big man as being a catalyst to their success this season. I'm talking of course about the deal that netted them George Pickens from Supreme Court, as the Turtles are the highest scoring team in the league in part thanks to the WR2 on the season to this point. This team is a threat to score the dreaded 200 bomb week in and week out, and it's no secret the coaching staff has been foamin at the mouth with dreams of winning the division and coasting to Round 2 of the playoffs. Will this squad get the job done? Or will the clouds wash away every ray of sunshine in Tuckahoe, relegating them to Round 1 action?

Now here's a GM that made... more than 5 trades. Since February 26th the Coxsackie Calves have made 24 trades, nearly 5 times more than the Turtles. Javonte Williams, Quentin Johnston, Dak Prescott and Danny Dimes are just a few in the long list of new faces in Coxsackie this season, not even mentioning the additions of rookies Tet McMillan and Ashton Jeanty. In my opinion the arrival of CeeDee Lamb could very well end up being the straw that breaks the camel's back, or rather the backs of every other competitor that faces this squad. The guy is still WR25 on the season even after missing 4 games, and as solid a bet to put up 20+ points any given week he's certainly a guy you'd like on the squad as playoffs approach. But will it end up being enough? Are there too many mouths to feed? Or can the Calves silence any hater who dares hate, and make some noise with this remodeled squad?

The rules in this one are simple. Get the win, and ya slide on through to Round 2. A loss ain't the end of the world, but then ya gotta answer to either a hungry 4th and Medium squad, or possibly even a starving Hail Gary squad in Round 1.

ALSO IN WEEK 14

1PM:

Redzone (8-5) @ Orangeville Ducks (5-8)

[H2H Tied 5-5 All Time]

[H2H Tied 2-2 in Dynasty]

Supreme Court (0-13) @ Rickety Stool Co. (6-7)

[RSC 6-2 vs CORT in Dynasty]

[RSC def. CORT in Week 12]

4PM:

Sloppiest Lobsters (5-8) @ 4th and Medium (7-6)

[4TH 4-2 vs SLOP All Time]

[4TH 3-2 vs SLOP in Dynasty]

Golden Bills (7-6) @ Hail Gary (7-6)

[GOLD 5-2 vs HAIL All Time]

[GOLD 3-1 vs HAIL in Dynasty]

Standings/Predictions

Don't forget to head over to the Standings/Predictions Page each week to read what the writers think about your team and see how you're stacking up in the Predictions Leaderboard.

Playoff "Champion" Tiebreaker

At last years Award Show the GMs voted to implement a new postseason tiebreaker system (shout out GM Ryan). You will be asked to select a player on your team to represent you as your Playoff "Champion" in the event of a tiebreaker. Start thinking...